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Looney Love

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Vintage 90's Mom Jeans | Looney Tune's Top | Forever Feax Fur | Black Suede Stilettos

^^ Marshall's dressing room ;)

I was NOT about to let the rain stop me from giving some spunk to my day! I received COPIOUS amounts of love yesterday - I feel utterly, and beautifully energized and continue to accept the love around me. It's incredible what the power of love can do and how it can refuel your being.

I have been feeling drained and beat the last couple weeks. This tortured and saddened state truly left me at a fork in the road between the positive and negative. Negativity is so easy to fall into. If we really believe negative things about ourselves, it gives us permission not to do anything. We fall into this rabbit hole of dark emotion and get trapped in the feeling of negative self-worth.

I am completely against letting the negative take control. No matter how weak I feel, I never try to let the feeling of fear, doubt, judgment, loss, criticism, play against me and who I am as a person. These negative emotions do not define us, so they should neither dictate nor affect the accomplished person we know we are.

BUT there is a difference between living in negativity vs. accepting and acknowledging the sad and fearful. Society says "We don't want to see the unhappy". It judges, and diminishes any and all signs of unhappiness because of the illusion that we are all the happiest people in the world. Society does not want to see the scary sides and "people" don't want to deal with that. Which then makes us bury the feeling of pain or sadness in a unhealthy and inappropriate way. But obviously society, or our view on society, is warped. Sometimes shit goes wrong and we have a bad day. Or things add up to a boiling point. Or you experience a heartbreak, loss, failure, etc.. Those tragedies are normal and most importantly, needed. We need to experience the negative in order to understand our strength. To be able to pick ourselves up and keep moving forward. To understand what we are made of and capable of doing and changing.

But ultimately we must ask ourselves: What side of the prism do we choose to look at? What side of the story to we choose to tell, share, see..? There is always a silver lining, greener pasture, at our fingertips. We MUST understand that there is always another way to face a challenge and overcome anything that we feel has triumphed us. I have said this before but, if we are faced with the same challenge, it is not because it is out to torture us, but because we have not fully learned our lesson from it. There is always some sort of lesson we can take out of everything difficult we face.

Being with family for the holiday was a feeling of home I haven't experienced in a very long time. The loving atmosphere that my family provides for me is absolutely beautiful. Love is something I feel I am running low on. At least for myself at times because I have given so much of it away in the past couple months that now, I am trying to rebuild and provide for myself.

Last night, my acting teacher gave our class an exercise in which we all take turns in touching one part of someone's body, at one time, to provide energy, love, WHATEVER it is, just touch and give.

It was the exact feeling of comradery and hope I needed/need at this point in my life. When it came to my turn to step into the circle, I closed my eyes and relaxed as my peers started placing their hands on my spin, lower back, back of neck, and shoulders. It completely changed my stance and rejuvenated my back bone with all of their fierce energy. It made me stand up straight and stand fearless.. until someone placed their hand on my heart. I collapsed. It's as if she knew I had a broken heart, her hand was there to help heal and mend. The power of touch, love, energy is invaluable and we must never take that for granted.

My note on love is: if you accept it, open your arms and heart to it, it'll find you. It will rebuild you and heal you. And morph and transform you.

Live in the love.

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